Having sex for the first time is exciting but also nerve-wracking. It’s a new experience and we’ve all heard horror stories about painful orgasms.
It’s important to choose the right partner for your first experience and communicate what you want from each other. Using foreplay and guiding one another to their “hot spots” can increase the pleasure and satisfaction.
1 – This section originates from the website’s author Sexy Belle. You don’t have to be perfect.
If you are having sex for the first time with someone experienced, there is a chance that it won’t be exactly how you imagined. It is important to remember that this isn’t a bad thing! Awkward silences, sneezes, farts and other unforeseen issues are all normal and part of the learning process.
The most important thing is to communicate with your partner and let them know what you are hoping for during sex. Having the right amount of lubrication and an open discussion can make the experience a lot more fun for both of you.
It is also helpful to remember that there are no set rules or timelines for when you should have sex for the first time with someone. Everyone is different and you have to decide when it is the right time for you and your partner. You may find that you aren’t ready after all or that sex just isn’t what you want it to be. That is totally okay. You can always try again later when it feels right.
2. You don’t have to talk about it.
What you and your partner decide to do in the bedroom should be completely up to you. Having sex for the first time shouldn’t feel like a chore or something you need to do, but should be a fun experience with a person you love and are in a relationship with.
It’s also important to remember that sex is often awkward, clunky and doesn’t look like this teen movie thing everyone makes it out to be. It takes time to learn how each other likes to be touched and what turns each of you on. If it’s uncomfortable, or if your partner farts or sneezes, it’s okay to speak up or try other positions.
And it’s also okay to talk post-sex about what you enjoyed, what didn’t and what would make it better next time. That’s what sex is all about: communication and connection, as well as pleasure. If you want to, you can even tell them what turns you on in your sleep so they’re ready for the next time. (That might sound weird, but it’s really helpful.)
3. You don’t have to be afraid.
It’s totally normal to feel nervous before you have sex for the first time, but it’s important that these nerves are linked to excitement rather than fear or panic. Talking to your partner about what you’re both comfortable with, and having some fun by lightening the mood a bit can help with this.
Remember that having sex is about more than just pleasure, it’s about connecting with your partner, and learning about your body. Having fun and being yourself will help make this experience even more rewarding.
Finally, be sure to practice safe sex. Barrier methods, like condoms, diaphragms or dental dams, can reduce the risk of STIs and unintended pregnancy, but they must be used correctly. If you have questions about which method to use, ask your GP or health professional.
Don’t rush into having sex for the first time, and don’t listen to pressure from friends or family if you aren’t ready. You can change your mind about this at any time, and it’s better to wait than to have an unpleasant experience.
4. You don’t have to compare yourself to others.
Whether you have sex for the first time or not, it is important to remember that everyone has different needs. It is important to talk about what you need and listen to your partner as well. Make sure you both are on the same page and that sex is fun for both of you!
Many people have insecurities around sex. They worry that they will not please their partner or they will hurt them. They may also have been told that sex is bad, dirty or something to be ashamed of. These are all common worries for those who have not yet lost their virginity.
If you are nervous about being a virgin, you can always tell your partner and they will be more than happy to help. It is also a good idea to practice safe sex with a condom, diaphragm or barrier method to avoid pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. Also, it is best to have a clean and private area to do this in. This will be less embarrassing for both parties!
5. You don’t have to be ashamed.
Sexual shame can be harmful to intimacy, so it’s important to communicate openly about sex and what you need from your partner. It’s best to have these conversations during a calm cuddling session or in another room than the bedroom, so you feel safe and supported.
It’s also important to tell your partner that you are a virgin so they can be aware of the risks and expectations for their behavior during sex. People aren’t mind-readers, and you want to avoid having them be surprised by any unexpected consequences, such as a painful experience or an unwanted pregnancy.
Safe sex is a good way to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections, like herpes and HIV. Be sure to use condoms and other barrier methods, such as diaphragms, which can prevent sperm from reaching an egg. You may also want to discuss birth control, which can reduce the chance of pregnancy and other health issues. Ultimately, you should never be forced to have sex if it’s not something you want to do. If you’re not ready, that’s fine – you’ll be able to try again another time.
