Whether it’s a pee urge that causes a sexual buzzkill or the fear of accidentally spraying your partner with urine, the feeling of needing to pee during sex can be scary. However, it’s also more common than you think.
So, what’s the deal? Why do you feel like you have to pee during sex?
Vaginal Stimulation
Some women feel the urge to pee during sex because they’re on the verge of an orgasm. “A sensation like that can actually be a precursor to a big orgasm,” Good Vibrations staff sexologist Carol Queen tells Bustle. That “pee urgency” feeling is caused by pressure on the bladder and urethra, she adds. This can happen when a woman sits on their back or lays under someone with their pelvis slightly lifted—a position that can put a lot of pressure on the bladder. It can also happen when a woman has been having oral sex with her partner, causing the tissue surrounding the urethra to engorge.
If you think this might be the case for you, try to empty your bladder before sex and experiment with sexual positions to see what works best. Using a high-quality lube can help to prevent vaginal dryness and irritation that could make you feel the need to pee, D’Angelo notes.
And if you want to explore whether those feelings really are a prelude to pleasure, spend some time masturbating your vagina, g-spot, and clitoris with your fingers or a small vibrator. Over time, you’ll become more in tune with your body and be able to tell the difference between an actual need to pee and the anticipation of an orgasm. And remember, the more you stimulate your clitoris during intimacy, the greater the likelihood that you’ll hit a spine-tingling climax.
Full Bladder
As the pelvic organs move and compress during sexual activity, the bladder can be pushed against, creating that feeling of needing to pee. This is more likely to happen if the bladder has been filled up or if you have an overly tight or weak pelvic floor muscle, which can cause stress incontinence. To avoid the sensation, be sure to urinate well before getting intimate and make it a point to go to the bathroom right after sex.
It’s also a good idea to talk to your partner about the issue, as they may be confused as to why you’re leaking during sex and could help support your efforts to address it. If the feeling persists, it’s a good idea to speak with a pelvic floor physical therapist to assess your muscles and help you strengthen them.
It’s also important to note that the feeling of needing to pee during sex might not be due to a full bladder after all. It’s common for women to experience what’s known as female ejaculation, which is a fluid expulsion that’s similar to male ejaculation but occurs inside the vagina. This can occur during orgasm as a result of stimulation from fingers, sex toys, or even the penis. The fluid is believed to come from the paraurethral glands, which are located near the bladder.
Pelvic Floor Muscles
Feeling like you have to pee during sex can be a confusing experience. But, it’s usually nothing to be worried about, unless you already suffer from urinary incontinence (which is normal, by the way) that causes leakage during orgasm and you are unable to stop the peeing from happening.
In that case, it’s a good idea to visit the bathroom before getting started so you don’t accidentally squish your bladder. In addition, certain sexual positions can put pressure on the bladder that can make you think you need to pee. For example, rear entry penetration can cause that feeling because it presses on the bladder directly.
If you are a sufferer of urinary incontinence, a doctor can prescribe medication that will help. They may also recommend a Kegel exercise routine, which consists of squeezing and then relaxing the pelvic floor muscles. Practicing these exercises regularly can improve your muscle strength and strengthen the connection between your brain and those important muscles.
However, there are also other things that can trigger that pee-feeling during sex, such as female ejaculation and excess moisture in the vagina. Luckily, those are pretty easy to fix: Just make sure to use plenty of lubricant before you get down there and remember that the feeling might just be female ejaculation or a gush of natural moisture, not a pee-like sensation.
Urinary Tract Infection
Feeling like you have to pee during orgasm is a very real phenomenon that is often caused by pressure and stimulation on the pelvic organs. If this is your case, changing up penetration positions may help to alleviate the feeling. If you feel like peeing during orgasm often, consider a visit to your gynecologist, particularly if you also feel a burning sensation or see blood in the urine. This could indicate an underlying condition.
All women are at risk of urinary tract infections (UTIs), which can be caused by bacteria from the genital and anal area that enters the urethra and causes infection. These germs can include E. coli, which is normally found in the gastrointestinal tract, and other organisms such as chlamydia and gonorrhea. Having sex can increase the likelihood of getting a UTI because the urethra is close to the anus and clitoris in females, so any bacteria from the penis, fingers, or sex toys that enter the anal canal may be pushed into the urethra and cause infection.
Many women with weak pelvic floor muscles experience leaking or peeing during sexual intercourse. This is a common problem called coital urinary incontinence. It can lower sexual satisfaction, decrease quality of life, and lead to avoidance of sexual intimacy. Fortunately, there are several treatment options available for this embarrassing problem.
