Men can start to feel resentful and angry when they have been living like roommates with their wives for a long time. They can also develop a sense of shame and low self-esteem.
Sex is one of the essential things in marriage that fosters well-being and builds a strong bond between partners. Therefore, the lack of it can cause some serious problems in a relationship.
Feelings of Shame
Sexual shame can be a major problem for couples whose sex lives aren’t as active as they should be. Men and women might begin to avoid intimate activities altogether, leaving them with a feeling of being disgraced by the lack of intimacy in their marriage. In addition, a man might be embarrassed about his lack of libido when his wife discusses their marital status with her friends, which can cause him to feel humiliated.
While sex in a marriage is important, the frequency with which it’s experienced can vary significantly from one person to the next. Some people are content with a low level of sexual activity, while others need to engage in sex more frequently to feel fulfilled and happy. In these situations, it’s vital for the couple to discuss their needs and work out a solution that works for them.
If you and your spouse have a hard time discussing this issue openly, finding a sex therapist or marriage counselor can be beneficial for your relationship. These professionals have dedicated their lives to helping couples build healthy, loving relationships, and can provide a safe space to talk about these sensitive issues.
Loss of Intimacy
In a sexless marriage, partners start to grow apart in other areas of their relationship as well. It can lead to issues with communication, resentment, and even infidelity. It’s important to seek professional guidance, like therapy or counseling, to resolve these issues and regain a sense of intimacy in the relationship.
A lack of sex can also decrease emotional intimacy, since physical touch releases the hormone oxytocin, which promotes feelings of bonding and closeness. This can make you feel distant from your partner and can affect other aspects of the marriage, such as sharing activities or spending time together.
Many reasons contribute to a loss of sexual interest in a marriage, such as mismatched libidos or health problems that inhibit arousal. For example, menopause can cause a decline in libido for some women. Additionally, excessive stress can reduce a person’s libido by producing cortisol, the stress hormone. Unresolved sexual trauma experiences may also interfere with a person’s desire for intimacy, especially when they associate physical intimacy with fear, abuse, or rejection.
A sexless marriage can be salvageable, but it takes time and patience to overcome these challenges. Using strategies that work for your couple, such as communicating openly about their interests and engaging in non-sexual activities, can help you reignite the flames of sexual intimacy in your marriage.
Low Self-Esteem
Especially for women, lack of sex can have a devastating effect on self-esteem. Sex, or even just touching, releases the feel-good hormones oxytocin and endorphins into your body, which helps you feel connected to your spouse and increases feelings of trust and security. Having these feeling eroded can leave you with an unstable sense of identity, and may cause you to seek other sources of fulfillment in your life.
Low self-esteem can also cause couples to misread one another’s cues. For example, if your spouse is acting moody, you might interpret this as a sign that they hate you or are unhappy with the relationship. Instead, it could be a result of their low libido. Murray found that people who have low esteem tend to read incorrect meanings into ambiguous cues from their partners, which leads to conflict and miscommunication.
It is important to understand that you can’t fix your partner’s low esteem or their inability to have sex, but you can be supportive and understanding. It is also a good idea to talk to a therapist who can provide guidance and support for you both as you work through the issues. Identifying and dealing with any underlying problems can help your marriage thrive, even without sexual intimacy. You can also try to find a support group that can offer a place for you and your spouse to express your emotions in a healthy way.
Dissatisfaction with the Relationship
A sexless marriage can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction in the relationship. Many people in long-term relationships have other types of intimacy besides sexual intimacy, including talking, touching, and laughing. But these forms of intimacy may not be as satisfying as sexual intimacy.
If a man feels that his wife is not interested in sex with him, he might start to believe that something is wrong with him or that they are no longer compatible as a couple. This can affect his self-esteem and cause him to act out or withdraw from the relationship.
For women, a lack of sexual interest in the marriage can also erode feelings of connection, love, and trust. In addition to being a source of emotional closeness, physical intimacy releases feel-good hormones like oxytocin and endorphins. A lack of these hormones can leave a woman feeling disconnected and isolated from her husband.
It is not uncommon for married couples to have problems with sex. However, these issues are often caused by underlying factors that need to be addressed. It is important for spouses to communicate openly about these issues in order to resolve them.
A sexless marriage can result in feelings of resentment and hostility between the spouses. This can also lead to miscommunication and misunderstandings in the relationship. Ultimately, this can lead to the breakdown of the marital relationship.
