If your partner has delayed ejaculation, it may make them feel frustrated. But you should remember that it’s their issue, not yours.
If physical causes are ruled out, treatment may involve working with a psychosexual therapist or taking drugs that stimulate ejaculation. It is important to find the right approach for your situation.
1. Make sure you’re lubricated
Using plenty of lube is an easy and effective way to help a partner with delayed ejaculation. It can also make sex feel more natural, and there are a lot of different kinds of lube out there to choose from, some with special ingredients that offer unique sensations like warming or cooling.
It’s important to remember that delaying ejaculation isn’t necessarily a sign of a lack of interest in sex or a sexual problem with your partner. It could be a sign that they’re simply uncomfortable during sex or that they aren’t getting enough stimulation. If you suspect that this is the case, try changing your technique or even switching to a different type of sex.
Another common reason for delayed ejaculation is sexual performance anxiety, which can lead to feelings of frustration and failure for both partners. If this is the case, you can work with a sex therapist to help address the issue. This may involve talking about your fears and concerns in a safe environment and reworking your relationship to reduce stress and anxiety during sex.
Delayed ejaculation can also be caused by certain medications or alcohol use. If this is the case, you can try to stop taking those medications or cut back on your drinking. Regardless of the cause, working with a sex therapist can be an effective and safe treatment for this issue.
2. Make sure you’re comfortable
If your partner has trouble reaching orgasm, it’s important to remember that this isn’t their fault. It can be frustrating to watch someone struggle with something so intimate, but don’t take it personally. They’re trying their best! If you can help, try to create a more relaxed atmosphere. This will make it easier for them to relax and enjoy the experience.
If you’re unable to help your partner reach orgasm, you may need to seek professional advice. You can talk to your primary care doctor, who can assess the situation and offer advice. They’ll likely ask questions about your medical history and sexual habits and do a physical examination. They might also do blood and urine tests to identify any underlying health problems that could be contributing to delayed ejaculation.
If the problem is caused by masturbation practices, your doctor might recommend retraining to a style that’s more appropriate for orgasm. This might include sex with other people or the use of a vibrator. Behavioral therapy can also be useful in overcoming PE. With this type of therapy, you or your partner stimulates the penis until it’s close to ejaculation, then firmly squeezing it, which can partially block the erection and stop orgasm. If these techniques don’t work, other options might include oral erectile dysfunction drugs, such as Viagra or Cialis; the erection-promoting hormone testosterone, or medications that increase libido or suppress nitric oxide production, such as cyproheptadine, amantadine, buspirone or cabergoline.
3. Make sure you’re in the right environment
Men who suffer from delayed ejaculation can still feel sexual arousal and get an erection, but they struggle to reach orgasm. This can leave them feeling starved for closeness and the release of tension that orgasm brings. The good news is that help is available.
A man with DE may need to make changes to his environment to improve the chances of achieving orgasm. This includes avoiding stimulants such as alcohol and nonprescription drugs. Reducing the amount of time he masturbates and/or using vibrators can also help. Behavioral treatments such as hypnotherapy may also help.
Some medications prescribed by a doctor may help with DE if they are used off-label, but none have been specifically approved to treat it yet. If depression is the underlying cause of his DE, talking to his psychiatrist about a possible switch to a different antidepressant that may not have this effect could be beneficial.
Typically, psychological treatments for DE focus on exploring reasons why a man may not be able to achieve climax and implementing a solution. Psychologists are a great resource for this, and their treatment approaches often involve both partners working together to resolve the problem. For example, some couples with DE use a technique called “internalization” to overcome the problem. They begin by stimulating themselves and then, when they feel ready to orgasm, insert their penis.
4. Don’t pressure your partner
Whether or not you’re experiencing delayed ejaculation, it can be frustrating for both you and your partner. It can also be physically uncomfortable, especially if it takes 30 minutes or longer to reach orgasm. This is because natural factors such as vaginal lubrication can run out, making sex more painful than pleasurable.
The good news is that there are treatments available to help you overcome the problem. In some cases, a doctor can recommend a medication to help you relax and climax faster. However, it’s important to remember that this doesn’t always work. Moreover, these medications can have side effects. So, it’s best to discuss this with your doctor before taking any action.
If the underlying cause is psychological, a therapist can help you deal with your fears and emotions. They can also teach you techniques to make sex more enjoyable and reduce performance pressure. Additionally, they can recommend sexual and mental exercises or toys to promote orgasm and climax.
If you’re trying to conceive, your doctor might also suggest ways to retrieve sperm and prepare it for insemination. Overall, treating DE can take time and commitment from both parties. But, it’s worth it. After all, nobody wants to feel frustrated and unhappy in the bedroom! So, don’t let a delay in sex ruin your relationship. It’s just a matter of getting the right help and support.