How to Give Yourself a Prostate Ejaculation

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The prostate is a walnut-size gland located between the base of the penis and rectum in people assigned male at birth. Biologically, it produces semen. Sexually, it can heighten pleasure during sex.

To give yourself a prostate orgasm, first prepare by washing your hands well (and sanitizing between your cheeks) and applying plenty of silicone or water-based lubricant. Then, become aroused via foreplay or masturbation.

1. Become aroused

The prostate is a walnut-sized gland that sits under the bladder and above the muscles that make up your pelvic floor, surrounding the top portion of the urethra that takes urine away from the anus when you urinate. It also produces much of the seminal fluid that makes up semen. During sexual arousal, it swells up and some men find that direct or indirect pressure on the prostate causes them to get orgasms.

As with any pleasure, it’s important to be aroused before searching for the P-spot. That’s why some people like to start by stroking their anus with a finger or a sex toy, and then move on to prostate stimulation. Experiment with different angles and amounts of pressure to find what feels best. It’s also a good idea to use lube during this process, as it will help protect the skin and make the anus feel softer.

You can even use anal plugs or anal vibrators, although it’s best to keep the object away from any arteries as that could lead to injury or a dangerous blockage of the urethra. You should only use anal penetration with the help of a partner who can communicate to you if the prostate is being massaged in the right direction. Once you’ve found the right position, try stroking it with your finger(s) (not nails). Much like the G-spot, the prostate responds well to “come-hither” strokes that stimulate the anal ridge.

2. Apply lubricant

Prostate play is an erogenous zone many men may not be familiar with, but one that can deliver intense and full-body orgasms, often felt from the waist down. A walnut-sized gland, the prostate (or P-spot) is found in the back of the rectum, and although its main evolutionary task is to produce some of the fluid found in semen, it is also jam-packed with nerve endings that feel oh-so-good when stimulated.

Stimulating the anal area can be done with either the fingertips or a variety of sex toys, but lubrication is key to ensuring a pain-free experience. It’s best to start by performing a light douching and applying plenty of silicone or water-based lube, especially if you are using your partner as a target for prostate stimulation.

When the anus is lubricated, it’s much easier to find the prostate. It’s located inside the rectum, directly below the bladder, and it shifts slightly into a backward position when you become aroused. Once you have the location of the gland, gently insert your lubricated finger into the anus and begin massaging. This technique is called prostate milking, and it’s a great way to stimulate the gland and to find the sweet spot that can get you to an orgasm.

The prostate is very sensitive and responds well to “come hither” strokes, and you can experiment with different pressure and strokes to see what feels best for both you and your partner. You may notice that the anal area starts to leak a milky fluid, known as prostatic fluid, or “milk”—it’s basically ejaculate without the sperm.

3. Insert your finger or sex toy

The prostate is one of the male erogenous zones, and if stimulated properly, it can lead to orgasms similar to those felt when touching the penis. That’s why it’s important to lube up really well, and to do so before you insert any implement. It’s also a good idea to warm up by doing some foreplay or masturbation.

While actual scientific research on prostate-induced orgasms is lacking, there are plenty of anecdotal reports out there, from a subreddit with more than 47,000 members to various websites and community forums, says Zachary Zane, Brooklyn-based writer and sex expert. He recommends experimenting with different techniques for prostate stimulation, whether you use your finger or a toy.

To start, gently insert your lubed index finger into the anus, just 2 to 3 inches in toward the stomach-side of the body. Then curl the tip of your finger into a “come hither” stroke and gently press up, like you’re ringing a doorbell. Keep changing up the pressure and the speed to find out what feels best. Toys can also be fun, especially ones that allow you to go deep into the anus. Play with different sized anal plugs and prostate massagers to see what works best for you. If you want to boost pleasure even more, try a vibrator or butt plug that delivers vibrations to the anus and prostate simultaneously.

4. Start massaging

Whether you are using your own hand or a sex toy, it’s important to get the feeling of internal stimulation down before trying to reach orgasm. Masturbating, engaging in foreplay, or doing other activities that stimulate the groin can help prepare you. It’s also a good idea to be well-lubricated and have the bladder and bowels empty.

The prostate, which is sometimes referred to as the male G-spot or the P-spot, is “jam-packed with nerve bundles that make it super sensitive to touch,” says Zachary Zane, a Brooklyn-based sex expert and author. It’s a walnut-sized gland that is located between the anus and rectum in most people assigned male at birth. Massaging the prostate, which is accessible through anal penetration, can feel pleasurable and lead to orgasm for many people.

For direct prostate massage, gently insert a lubed finger into the anus and push in to about the first knuckle. Then, find a rounded lump about two to four inches inside the rectum toward the back end of the penis—that’s the prostate. Gently massage it in a circular or back-and-forth motion with the pad of your finger (the soft side) and apply gentle pressure for seven to 10 seconds.

Play with the pressure and duration of your massage to discover what feels best, especially if you are using a toy. Many sex toys offer settings for vibration or speed, which can be fun to experiment with. Some men experience a slight discomfort when they first try prostate massage, but it shouldn’t last long and should always feel better than the awkward pressure of having to pee.

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